March

I just found the valentine Hannah made for me. She addressed it to "My Love Bug."

I broke a blood vessel in my eye. I look pretty creepy. Hannah can't look at me without shuddering, and Mike thinks I'd look cute as a pirate with an eye patch. I'm supposed to help out in Abby's class tomorrow. I'm thinking those kids won't want to mess with me. 

Hannah brought a new stuffed animal home today and said, "Mom, I explained to Skippy about your eye, and he's not going to stare at it and say it's gross, because that hurts your feelings. But at first he was like, 'What's up with your mom's eye?'"
Even stuffed animals think I look weird!

Top two teeth are gone:

As I was walking the girls home from the bus stop, I paused to talk to a friend while the girls walked on. After a few minutes, Hannah called out to me so I finished the conversation and asked what she wanted.
"I want hugs and kisses! You talked so long, I was starving for your hugs!"

What did you learn in church today, Hannah?
-We learned about the last dinner.
You mean the last supper?
-Oh, yeah. What's a supper?
It means dinner.
(Then she looks at me like, "Isn't that what I just said??")

In my defense, I do have hearing loss. However, the guy on the phone gets a gold star:
Me: I'm looking for a 1098-T for my taxes.
Guy: That's at 1098-T.com.
Me: I'm sorry, what was that address?
Guy: 1098-T.com.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't know what you are saying.
Guy: It's the name of the form you just asked for dot com.

Hannah's excited, because she finally grew taller than her boyfriend, which makes her the third shortest (instead of the second shortest) kid in class. However, there is controversy in the matter. "Mom, he said that hair counts as tallness, but I say it doesn't, so I'm taller."

Well, it's finally happened. I am officially a member of a sorority, Phi Kappa Phi. I was invited because of my good grades, not my glowing personality or hot body. (It's supposed to look good on a resume, otherwise I could care less.)
Something to check off the bucket list!

Look at how high Hannah climbs! She's the tiny person at the top of the rock. "It's fun coming down, but it hurts!"

Abby loves rock climbing. Her favorite part is "flying like a bird on the way down."

Overheard my girls playing:
- Look at this princess. She's cute!
- Yeah, she looks like Mom!

A report from Grandma:
I was trying to persuade Abby to let me take her to get a bang trim. Abby shook her head no. "Grandma will give you $1.00," I said. Still no. "What will it take?" I asked. Hannah leaned over and whispered to her sister, "Ask Grandma for an ipad."

Isn't this a pretty picture of Esther?

 Easter fun with the cousins:

 

Hannah strikes a pose:

           

February

The girls decked out a closet for Mike's and my Valentine's Day present.

Hannah filled out "Five Things that Drive me Nutty!" I could only decipher the first three.
1. Clening up
2. Casudyus (Quesadillas) :)
3. Takows (Tacos) :)


I attended Abby's class party first. By the time I got to Hannah's, she had been given the teacher's permission to eat three pieces of candy. This pixie stick (aka colored sugar stick) was her third. One hour later, she was a bit cranky. 

Abby was reading aloud about the prodigal son returning. When she got to Luke 15:30, I panicked a bit. She read, "But this son of yours spent your money on p. . . pr. . . post its?" Yes, post its. Crisis averted.

Mike and I were watching the news as it discussed the Pope's retirement.
Amy: Yeah, did you hear the Pope resigned?
Mike: Yes, but it's not that big of a deal to me.
Amy: He's the only Pope to ever resign.
Silence. A full minute passes.
Mike: They just said that he's the only Pope to ever resign! That's something!
?????

Abby does her homework at the dining room table, in the same spot where I sit to eat dinner. Sometimes we battle while she's doing homework. While I was eating dinner, I noticed something etched into the table, like someone was writing too hard, and it made an imprint. I peered closely at the words. "I hate you." Now I wonder where that could have come from? At least now I have something to read while I eat dinner.

Abby told me, "Mom! Do you know how old the oldest person in the world is? 122! And she's really healthy and teaches yoga."
Pause
"And it's not Gamma."
Pause
Hannah: "Yeah, 'cause Gamma doesn't teach yoga."

 
I don't know where Hannah learns these phrases. While earning points on a computer game, she said, "I'm going to meet the goal, Mommy. I'm going above and beyond. See that? Proof positive."

She's finally lost a top tooth!

Filling out Valentine's Day cards is a difficult task, as I am reminded by my daughters' conversation:
Hannah: This one's for --. He's mean, and this one says You're Sweet!
Abby: Don't give him that one, give him an ugly one.
Hannah: I can't give him You're Kind or You're Sweet. You're Cool might work, because he is kinda cool.
Abby: No, that picture's too cute. Don't give him that one.
 
Still filling out Valentine's.
Hannah: Okay, I have to give one to --. Ah, yes. This is a good one for My Love.
(I look up sharply.)
Hannah: What? He's my boyfriend! (She fills out his card and places a huge heart on the outside.) Okay, the next one is for --. Ugh, none of these are good. He's so annoying. (She glances through all the cards.) They should make one that says You're Annoying!
  
This is what happens when you let the grandparents watch the kids.  Both children are placed on a bed of nails.

A report from Grandma:
I was trying to persuade Abby to let me take her to get a bang trim. Abby shook her head no. "Grandma will give you $1.00," I said. Still no. "What will it take?" I asked. Hannah leaned over and whispered to her sister, "Ask grandma for an ipad."

       

January

50s day at school:

Hannah said, "I want to marry God. Just think of how powerful I'd be!!"

Hannah (6 yrs old): I have a secret boyfriend, and we went on a date today.

Mike: You're too young to date!
Hannah: It wasn't a real date. We just sat together on the bus and talked.
Abby: I don't go on dates!
Hannah: I do.

I was helping Hannah with a sticker/coloring project, and I asked if I could color a pool around the polar bears. She replied, "Yes, but don't get marker on the stickers. There WILL be consequences."

As I was taking this picture, I was thinking of posting it to Facebook saying, "The world is a safer place because of Abby Johnson." Right after the picture, a little kid crossed the road, tripped on the curb, and landed sprawled out on his belly.

Reading a book with Hannah:

H: Alexander Gram-Ham Bell. . .
Me: It's not Gram Ham, it's just Graham.
Pause
H: But I like Gram Ham better.

Hannah: Mom, I figured out why my foot falls asleep. When I put my sock on, it's like a little bed for my foot, so it thinks it's time to sleep. If it falls asleep, I take off my sock, stomp it a few times, and it wakes right up!

Hannah sold cookies with her friend, who is five months older than her.  Slight height difference?

After many, "JINX! You owe me. . ." conversations in our household, Hannah has triumphed. After saying the same word, Abby cried, "Jinx! Waterfall jinx!" Hannah cooly replied, "It doesn't work on me. I've had my jinx shot."

After spending the day with our new dog, we decided that she's rather adventurous. While at the park, she climbed up the stairs and slid down the slide (no joke) while pulling a screaming Abby behind her. Mike finally declared, "She's fearless! We need the name of a fearless woman."
Meet Esther.

Checking into a hotel today:
Clerk - What brings you to Galveston?
Me - Our kids aren't here.
Clerk - I've heard a lot of that lately. Going anywhere special while you're here?
Me - Wherever they don't have kids.

Thanks Gamma and Papa for taking the kids! Best anniversary present ever!

December

Hannah was discussing baptism with the children's minister, Diana.

D: For the wages of sin is death. . .

H: But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus our Lord.

D: That's right! Do you know what wages are?

H: No.

D: It's something you earn. Do you do chores?

H: Yes.

D: Do you get an allowance?

H: No.

D: Do you sometimes get money for doing chores?

H: Yes! I help my dad pick up dog poop!

D: Oh, I hope he pays you a lot for that. Do you get a couple dollars?

H: A quarter each.

D: A quarter each piece of poop?

H: No, a quarter each for me and Abby.

Hannah was baptized on December 16.

Hannah's baptism testimony:

God and Jesus are real. I asked Jesus in my heart because I wanted to follow Him. I was in the living room with my whole family when I asked Jesus in my heart. I am getting baptized to show people that Jesus is the leader of me.

Four hours after the baptism, Hannah broke her arm.  She fell off the same monkey bars that broke her other arm last year!

Hannah: "I have a purple cast. Once my mom had to get a white cast because that's the only color they had in the old times."

Hannah recently decided to give up her Mankie (security blanket).  She gently gave both blankets to me and told me to give them away.  After she got back from the ER, she sat on the couch cradling her broken arm, wearing the most pathetic expression.  I asked if she wanted Mankie back, and she nodded yes.  Later, as I told Mike the story, he asked Hannah, “You needed Mankie, didn’t you?”  She replied, “Well, you can’t blame a girl for trying, Dad!”

Many tears in our house tonight, as our sweet dog died. We hope he's behaving himself in Heaven. Maybe God can finally teach him to fetch.

After the girls were done crying about their dog, I had them take a shower. I washed Hannah's body, but had to stop short when she said, "Don't wash away my tears!"

Hannah's especially mad about our dog dying because, like Hannah, he was born in Texas. "Now I'm the only one in this house who was born in Texas!"

The girls attended their first wedding tonight. When the pastor, the groom, and the best man lined up at the front, Hannah whispered, "Does she get to pick the one she wants?

Abby took notes during the wedding.
". . . Then comes Janel. Then they sing some songs. 3 actually. Then they say a verse and a long one too. Then he (the pastor) talks to them about silly things, they keep nodding their heads "yes" and there are flower petals on the floor. He talks for about 300 hours. Then they kiss."

A first grade classmate asked Hannah to marry him. He didn't wait for a response, but kissed her and ran off, telling everyone that they were engaged. When we asked Hannah if she's engaged, she gave a resounding NO and shook her fist in the air.

I can see why he wants to marry her.

I was leading worship in the kid's area and complained to Abby that I was having a hard time.

Me: I can't catch my breath, because one side of my nose is stuffed up.

Abby: Just breathe twice as fast!

It snowed on Christmas day!  Poor Grammy was visiting from Colorado, hoping to get a break from the snow.

Hannah: What do astronauts put on their sandwiches?

Launch meat!

I was leading worship in the kid's area and complained to Abby that I was having a hard time.

Me: I can't catch my breath, because one side of my nose is stuffed up.

Abby: Just breathe twice as fast!

Recently, whenever Hannah sits with Mike or takes his side in a family discussion, she'll use the war cry, "Blondies with blondies!"

Hannah saw a commercial for Lysol toilet bowl cleaner. She told me, "Ignore it. We already have that."

Hannah witnessing to a friend: "When you die, you go to Heaven and you live with God and you never die again. Do you believe in God?"

Friend: "Yes."

Hannah: "Good, because you have to believe in Him before you die, or. . . too bad!"

This is Mike Johnson, cornering his six-year-old daughter, who has a broken arm, on Christmas day. Immediately after the photo, he beaned her with the snowball and laughed wildly.

Grandma is in town, which means lots of free babysitting. When we came home tonight, the girls said they could stay up late to finish a movie. When Mike corrected them, Abby countered, "Grammy said we could! Go talk to your mom, Dad!"

Mike: Hannah, we have no school for two weeks. Woo hoo!

Hannah: Woo hoo!

Mike: And you know what else we get to do?

Hannah: (excitedly) What?

Mike: Drive Mommy crazy for two weeks! Woo hoo!

Hannah: (suddenly serious) No, Dad, Mommy needs to drive safely.

The girls were at a sleepover, and the father was watching football.  Hannah looked at the TV and said, "Uh oh. . . .  Looks like some wrasslin' is breakin' out."

We were given a bingo game, complete with a bingo cage. Hannah loves spinning the cage and refers to it as the "Round-a-ma-go."

November

11/18

Today, Hannah asked Jesus to be her Savior. :)

Me: I don't want to do my work today. I have to write 15 pages by Sunday.  
Abby: Just write four pages a day.  
Me: Okay, I'll write four pages today. After school, check to see if I did it.  
Abby: If you do, we'll give you hugs.  
Hannah: And kisses and a back massage!  
Abby: If you don't do it, we'll say, "It's okay, you tried your hardest," and only give a hug. Hannah: For now, you can have a kiss.

When Hannah's upset, sometimes she'll say, "Poo!" Tonight, she was apparently really mad, because she let loose, "Poo, poo! Pee pee! Toot toot! Diarrhea!"

Abby: I wonder, when I grow up, what will I be? Will I still be like me? Hannah: I wonder, when I grow up, will I always be the third smallest person in my class?

Hannah thinks it's not fair that Obama is still president. "He already did it. He should let Romney have a turn."

Hannah was asking a million "whys" and we decided we can't know the answer to every why. Her parting comments were, "Why, why, why? Why does Mommy's bottom stick out so far?"

Talking politics with a six-year-old: Hannah: Is Obama still the president? Me: For now he is. Tomorrow is voting day, so tomorrow we might have a new president. Hannah: I hope it's Mitt Romney. He sounds like he'd be a better president. (Pause. She screws up her face.) Obama likes to eat chili.

I saw an old friend at the store. I hadn't seen his daughter since she was tiny. Now that she's three years old, we were able to have a lovely conversation at Walgreens. Me: How old are you now? Her: Three! She begins mumbling something, and her dad tells her to speak up. Her: Okay. When I have to go poop, I go poo poo in the big potty! Me: Good for you! How about your parents? Her: Yes, they go poo poo in the big potty, too. :)