December Thus Far

I told Abby and Hannah that they could pick out whatever nail polish they wanted and I would buy it and give them manicures. I steered them towards the cheap stuff, and try as I may to dissuade them, they were dead set on neon orange and bright yellow. The next day, while showing a stranger her nails, Hannah explained, “This is my nail polish. Mom says it’s ugly.”

I let Abby pick out a Christmas tree topper this year, since our old one was broken. She picked out an $8 Walmart sparkly tin-foil type thing. I assured her that it was hideous, but she was dead set on it. When Gramma came over a few days later, Abby proudly showed off the star. “I picked out this star. Mom says it’s ugly!” (See a theme here?)



Abby’s class has a 10:00 snack time, so each day I placed a snack in her backpack. Eventually, I began putting five snacks in there for the week. Last week, I noticed the snacks were disappearing too quickly, and I asked her why. Abby the nurturer, explained that some moms are forgetting to pack snacks, so Abby is helping out the hungry kids. Here’s my quandary: I don’t want to pack snacks for all the kids who don’t have any, but I can see that Abby is doing something that I want to encourage. Mike and I talked about it, and he said to put two snacks in each day. I tried that, but the next day, Abby came home and loaded the backpack up. “Mom, you didn’t put enough snacks in today!” I have raised a child who is much nicer than I am.



“Mom,” asked Hannah in the car one day, “what does ‘A’ stand for?” When I told her I didn’t know, she said, “Hot. And ‘C’ stands for cold.” I was confused until I followed her eyes. She was looking towards the front dash at the button that says, A/C. Pretty smart, huh?



Hannah was playing with a flashlight and talking me through her actions. “I just need to fix the batteries because it doesn’t work right. I need the simples to match the simples.” She takes the batteries out, looks at them carefully, and starts turning them around. “There! Now the simples match the simples! It will work now!” And it did!

November

I was enjoying some peace and quiet while taking a shower. In the master bath, our sinks and vanities are in one area, and the shower is in a small room. With the door shut, I feel almost secluded. This night, my bliss was cut short when Abby came in and announced, “I just came in to throw up!” Mike followed her to help. (Mind you, there is another bathroom that has a perfectly good toilet to throw up in.) As the two of them got prepared, Hannah walked in. “Mom! Can I have some water?” Sigh.

Abby gets stuck trying to exit the vehicle:

Hannah is beginning to use more sophisticated words. However, she does not always use them in the right context.
When I asked her if she played with Tommy at recess:
No, Tommy does not organize me.
When Abby was bossing Hannah around:
Mommy! Abby is instructing me!
When she means to say, “It doesn’t matter,” or “I don’t mind”:
I don’t matter.

The girls make out their wish list for Santa:


Hannah:
Mom? Do you know what advertise means? It’s when they put you under the water and then lift you back up.
Mom: Do you mean baptize?
Hannah: I keep forgetting that word!

We made Hannah stop sucking her thumb when she turned four six months ago. It was surprisingly easy, so I was surprised when she recently asked me when she could start sucking it again. I told her that she can never suck it. She was sad and said, “I’m just going to suck it a little right now.” Fearing a relapse, I told her not to. Resigned, she finally said, “Okay, I’ll just lick it a little.” Then she did just that.



The girls had a sleepover with their grandparents. Hannah is an early riser. She has often said that she’s frustrated that everyone else knows how to sleep except for her. When she got up early that morning, she told Papa, “When I’m older, I’ll learn how to sleep in.”

Mike and I went on a date while the girls were gone. At the end of the evening, we decided that we went on an old people date. First, we saw a movie about retired people. The theater was filled with retired people, and we went at an early time so we wouldn’t have to be annoyed by youngsters. After the movie, we bought soup and took it home so that we wouldn’t have to sit in a crowded restaurant. Our lives are on the cutting edge, let me assure you!

Hannah has asked bits and pieces about how babies are born. I’ve told her things here and there, but one day, she pieced it all together for Abby. It was surprisingly coherent. “Abby, after you get married, a baby will grow in your tummy after a little while, like two weeks. (This part censored for publication.) When it comes out, it will hurt, but then you will have a beautiful baby and it won’t hurt anymore.”
Hannah also told me, “I told Sam at school that he’s lucky he’s a boy. He’ll be a dad, not a mom. The mom has to get the shot in the pee-pee when the baby comes.” She emphasizes this by pointing to the area in question. (I had explained earlier that if you don’t want it to hurt, you get a shot. She surmised the rest.) We had to have a discussion about proper peer topics. I also told her that I got a shot in the back, not the “other” place. She thought about it and said, “I think I’ll have the doctor give me the shot in the stomach.”

We were headed to Panara’s for dinner. I asked Hannah what she was going to eat. She replied, “Mashed potato soup. That is the last one in my soup tasting collection.”

Abby was teasing Hannah about her boyfriend, Tommy. Hannah claimed that he is not her boyfriend.
H- He is a boy and we are friends, and we are in love.
A- That’s a boyfriend!
H- Okay, then he’s my boyfriend.
A- I’m going to tell my whole class that you have a boyfriend.
H- Okay.
This starts already??

The girls after a three hour play date:



There is a framed picture in Hannah’s preschool class. It shows the kids on the first day of school. On child is smiling, two are crying, and six look terrified. Only one little blond child looks completely comfortable. Hannah is in the back row with her hand on her hip. She is perfectly posed with a huge smile on her face. Good self-esteem – check!

My dad gave me an old GPS system. When I first started using it, I gave it a male voice with an English accent. The girls wanted to name the voice, so I began thinking of interesting English names. The girls thought faster than I, and his name is now Mr. Silly Pants.



We were waiting to ride a kiddie train when Hannah saw an older boy throwing acorns at his brother. She walked over to him and gave him a Mom look. “You should know better than that!” she told him.

In the hallway of Hannah’s school, there is a large turkey picture. Each feather lists what the child is thankful for. All the feathers read like this, “I am thankful for. . . .” Each one then lists Mom and Dad or sibling as the number one thing. Hannah’s however, is different. Hers reads, “I am thankful for chicken!”


While at my parents’ house one night, my sister-in-law and I heard my mom scream, followed by a loud crash and glass shattering. The children were all in the room with her, and they began screaming. You’ve never seen Shelley and I move so fast! We discovered that everyone was fine. Hannah had reached for an item that was on an unstable perch, and the entire thing came crashing to the ground. (My mom lectured me about bolting everything to the wall, so I think this is great that this happened at her house.)
Hannah was horrified, because she thought that it was her fault. She cried loudly until we could explain to her that it was not her fault and we were not angry. The main thing was that no one was hurt.
Several minutes later, I heard her reasoning, “It’s no one’s fault, especially not mine, because I did it.”

Poor Hannah gets so bored when Abby goes to school:
Abby had a Thanksgiving performance at school. There were five or so songs. After each song, all the kids stood (relatively) still, except for mine. Abby took a deep bow after each song. My mom rolled her eyes and looked at my dad and me. Ever the hams, we were so proud.

October

In October, I had the amazing opportunity to go to Cambodia. (It will be blogged about more, later, but I am not finished with my journal yet.) Mike's mom was flying out to spend two weeks helping Mike with the girls. The day I left, Mike's mom was injured and could not make the trip out. Mike never told me that he was alone, since he wanted me to enjoy my time there. I received several emails, and never thought it strange that Grammy was not mentioned. One email even said that he was tired of being a single dad. (I made fun of him for that one, since I thought his mom was there.) So, for 12 days, he was super dad. Thank you to everyone who helped out, especially Mom and Dad, Scott and Kelli, and Melanie. The girls were kept entertained with:

School Carnival


Annual Pumpkin Patch (Notice that Abby's eating the bread that she's supposed to be feeding the donkey.)


Dinner Dates with Cousins Jocie and Will


and

A Trip to Fossil Rim Wildlife Park (I love this place! All the animals walk right up to your car as you drive through the park.)


While I was gone, I rode an elephant and ate a spider. The girls were thrilled with these facts, so when I got home, I found pictures in the dining room and plates of plastic spiders on the dining table.

Hannah loves the elephant picture because it looks like he's going potty. Abby assures us that his tail is yellow, it's not pee.


A conversation in the back seat of the car between two four-year-olds:
Hannah: Did you know that the yellow stuff in your nose is called snot?
Vivian: Yeah, and the green stuff is called boogers.

We were picking out the girls’ Halloween costumes. I ran across one that was a two-piece, skimpy ‘I dream of Jeanie’ outfit. I laughed at the thought of a four-year-old in an outfit baring her midriff. Just then, Hannah saw it. “Mom! That could be your costume!”



We took the girls on their first camping trip. They were thrilled! When we got to the campsite, however, Hannah lost some enthusiasm. It appeared that this particular site was a breeding area for spiders. There was a lovely canopy of spiders over much of the site. Mike got to work knocking the webs down. What we couldn’t reach, we assured the girls would not fall on us.
We enjoyed hot dogs for dinner and smores for dessert. Abby enjoyed the “three desserts in one!” The next morning, we hiked for over an hour. That was my favorite part of the adventure. These girls, who get exhausted after five minutes in a store, hiked for an hour. Before we left, we found a man-made beach and had fun on the sand. (Which was nothing like San Diego sand, by the way.) Abby, who lived in San Diego until she was two, declared, “This is the most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen!”
On the way home, we asked the girls what their favorite part of camping was. Without hesitating, Abby said, “Peeing in the bushes!” Hannah agreed.



Hannah said that she was going to make new friends at the gym one day. Abby became offended and asked why Hannah needed new friends, since she had Abby. Hannah asked, “Can I just make ONE new friend?” Abby wasn’t too happy about it.
A few days later, Hannah said, “Vivian is my bestest friend.” She then looked at Abby and quickly amended, “But Abby is my bester friend!”



A few days after I returned from Cambodia, I was getting Abby ready for school. I made her take her Sudafed, which she hates. After brushing her teeth, I made her use mouthwash, which she hates. She finally grumbled, “I wish you were still in Cambodia!” I asked, “Why? Because I make you do Sudafed and mouthwash?”
“Yeah, and do my homework!”



Hannah was goofing around while I was getting her dressed after a bath. When I finally asked what she was doing, she pushed my last button by replying, “Ignoring you!”


On Halloween, we started trick-or-treating early so that we could get our neighborhood in before we headed to Jocie and Will’s house. The cousins love to trick-or-treat together. In our neighborhood, we weren’t having much luck. No one would answer the door. At the 6th house, someone finally opened up. She dropped some candy in the girls’ buckets. Hannah put on her best sad face, and said, “Look, we don’t have ANY candy!” The woman dropped more candy in the buckets.

For Your Entertainment

I needed a babysitter twice in one week. The first day, Hannah handed the sitter the money without saying anything. The second time, she gave her the money while saying, “Here’s the money. This time, it’s real.”

Abby watched the transaction of $25. She began to whine that she didn’t have any money. The sweet babysitter fell for it and held out the money, telling Abby that she could have one of the dollars. Abby left the five ones and quickly snatched the twenty.

I started the girls in AWANA this year. It’s a Christian organization that I loved as a child. Abby could not get the hang of the name, however, and kept asking me to repeat it. Finally, after about the fifth time of me repeating AWANA, a frustrated Abby sighed, “Oh, I’ll just call it Obama!”

The girls sometimes sleep together on the weekends. One morning, they excitedly told me about the shadow puppets they made before bed the night before.

Abby: Mommy, I made a bird!

Hannah: And I made a trash can!

(Translation: Hannah is not being good. Hannah wants to play with me but I don't want to play with Hannah. Mom and Dad are good to me.)

Hannah was asking me if I love her. “Yes, I love you with all my heart.” Do you love Abby? “Yes, I love Abby.” Do you love my friends at school? I explained that I don’t actually know her friends that well, but they seem very nice and I like them a lot. She quickly became offended that I did not love her friends. I repeated my thoughts on the subject. She became quiet, and finally said, “Fine, then I’ll tell all my friends that you don’t love them.”

Hannah’s teacher told me that during recess, Hannah was attempting to play with a group of kids. She then marched up to the teacher saying, “Those kids won’t let me play with them!” The teacher said that she should go ask the kids if she could play, too. Hannah then marched over to the group. The teacher saw Hannah’s finger flying as it pointed at each of them during an apparently heated lecture. Next thing she knew, Hannah was playing with the group!

(Hannah's first picture of the family.)

I was working on the computer today. Hannah came up to me with a nickel. “Mom, I need you to keep an eye on my money. You can do it while you’re working, because you can keep this eye” (she touches one lens of my glasses) “on the money, and you can keep this eye” (touches the other lens) “on the computer!”

We were in the checkout line of the grocery store when Hannah saw a small mirror used to check under the carts. She peered into the mirror and lifted her hands above her head. Hips swaying, she sang and gyrated. “Bow, chicka, wow, wow! Chicka, wow, wow!” I burst into laughter, but had to control myself, because it was not appropriate behavior. "Where did you hear that?" I demanded. She looked at me and sang, “That’s what my baby says! Bow, chicka, wow, wow!” Hurrying out of the store and away from the curious eyes of judgmental strangers, I had a talk with her. " We do not say that! It is not a nice thing to say!" Abby asks, “Mom, what does bow, chicka, wow, wow mean?” I have a Master’s degree in education, and I teach child development at a local college. My genius answer was, “It doesn’t mean anything, but it’s not a nice thing to say!” (Brother.) I told Hannah that she is not to say that again.

As we were driving home, I heard a soft forbidden song coming from the backseat. “Hannah!” I scolded. A sweet voice said, “It wasn’t me, Mom, it was my stuffed animal!”

We had our friends over one evening. It was a mixed group of about 15 people. Hannah told a mother that her baby was hungry. The mom humored Hannah and fixed a bottle for the baby. Hannah then loudly announced, “It’s a good thing that you had a bottle for your baby, because if you didn’t, she would have to drink from. . . .” She then gave a detailed account of the nursing process. I could not control my laughter. Tears poured from my eyes as I attempted to quiet her. My Hannah.

More Smiles

The girls were arguing over something, so I told them to do rock, paper, scissors. Abby’s face broke into a triumphant grin when Hannah yelled, “Okay! I’ll be scissors!!”

Abby has been repeatedly asking about the tooth fairy. A classmate has assured her that the tooth fairy isn’t real. I dodged the question numerous times, but began to feel guilty after she said, “Tell me the TRUTH, mom!” Mike said I should tell her. It’s so sad to me, because she got her teeth later than other babies, and the doctor said she’d be late to lose them. That’s turned out to be true. Plus, she’s one of the youngest in her class. So, while her classmates have mouthfuls of the awkward big teeth, Abby has only lost two. The tooth fairy has only visited her two times, and now she wants the truth!

I finally sat her down and explained that there is no tooth fairy, but it’s a fun thing to pretend about. Her face fell, and I literally saw her heart break from my words.

Abby: But she took my teeth!

Me: That was me, baby.

Abby: She wrote me a letter!

Me: That was me, too.

After a lot of heart to heart, she agreed to keep the secret from Hannah. She would play along, but she wanted to see her old teeth.

The next day, Hannah marched up to me demanding to know why I had taken Abby’s teeth from the tooth fairy. Abby quickly changed the story, telling Hannah that I am in fact THE tooth fairy for everyone! I stammered over some words, but I have no idea what Hannah thinks now.

Abby’s now beginning to ask about Santa Claus. I told Mike, in no uncertain terms, that HE will be the one to have that discussion.

Abby does homework:

Abby was getting her teeth cleaned at the dentist office. Hannah looked on, her usual chatty self. The dentist finally asked her when she was going to have her teeth cleaned. “I can’t have my teeth cleaned, because I never stop talking!” she declared. He looked at me with the same question. “When you charge by the pound of the patient, I’ll bring her in for a cleaning.” He left it alone after that.

We had just visited my brother and his wife in Austin. Apparently, Toby and Hannah had a conversation that I was not privy to. The next day, she asked, “Mommy, where’s Hollywood?” I told her that is was in California, near Disneyland. “Oh. And where’s Syrup?” Confused, I asked her to clarify. “Syrup. Toby told me about Syrup.” I explained that there is no place called Syrup. She was adamant that Toby had told her all about Syrup. She was actually a bit upset that I didn’t know where it was.

I forgot about the conversation until two days later when she said, “I wish we could take a boat and go across the ocean to Syrup.” It clicked in my mind. “Do you mean EUROPE?” Abby started laughing hysterically. Hannah thought and muttered, “I thought he said Syrup!”

I told Abby she could pick any restaurant for her birthday dinner. She got very excited and leaned over to Hannah. “Hannah! It’s my birthday, and I can pick any place I want to eat dinner! (Pause.) Should I pick McDonald’s or Chik-Fil-A?”

We went to IHOP for dinner. (I know, you’re all jealous that you can’t be as classy as us.) Abby looked through the menu and leaned over to Mike. She pointed out a pancake breakfast that has a huge butter scoop on top. “Don’t get this, Dad.” She pointed to the picture of the butter. “I got it before, because I thought this was ice cream. They tricked me!”

The girls both love music, and it's interesting how they "hear" the lyrics. One song has a line, "It happens in a blink." The line repeats several times. In the backseat, Hannah sings, "It happens when I'm three." A Vegetales song sings, "You put this love in my heart!" Hannah asks, "Why'd they slobber the heart?"