May

Mike has been teaching third grade and will be moving to second grade next year. This is Hannah's take on it.
"His students were really lucky to have him. It would be funny if one of them failed the STAAR just so they would have to stay in third grade so they could have him again. And then they find out that he's going to second, and they're like, 'Oh, no! I failed for nothing!'"
Then she starts laughing at the hypothetical student. 

Abby: Mom, is there someone that really annoys you?
Me: Yes.
Abby: Who is it?
Me: I'm not going to say.
Abby: Is it me?

Me serving dinner: "You pour this chili over the cornbread."
Hannah begins mixing the cornbread with the chili: "Too bad we have to mess up this delicious cornbread with this other stuff." 

Hannah: Mom, do you have any imaginary friends? I do. Their names are Bob and John. They never get any boo boos. When they fall, they don't get hurt, because the floor can't see them.

Mike and Hannah were having a silly debate. When Abby and I weighed in, Hannah said, "You two stay out. This is a conversation between blondies."

Perhaps I order pizza too often, as evidenced by:
I'd like to order a pizza.
Can I get your name?
Amy.
Is this the Amy we know?
Yes. 

While watching an old Godzilla program, Mike burst out laughing at this quote:
"Trying to please a woman is like trying to swim the ocean."

Love it when I'm trying to hide from/ignore a solicitor and my children stare at him through the window.

Hannah won third place in her division in the GCISD bus safety poster contest.

Amy said, "It's Mother's Day. You have to be nice to me today." I said, "All day? That is going to be way too difficult. How about I be nice half the day?" She agreed. So in the morning and at church I could be grumpy. After church, I agreed to be nice! Happy Mother's Day Amy!

Hannah said, "Mom! Me and Abby and Daddy have a secret surprise, but we can't tell you, because it's for Mother's Day. Remember our secret surprise Daddy?"
"No."
"Oh. I guess just me and Abby have a secret surprise!"

 Hannah received the "Most Responsible Student" award.

Mike and Abby were texting during lunch. Suddenly, Abby jumped up and ran away screaming while Mike followed. I glanced at his phone, which read, "I'm gonna get you, so you had better run now."