Private Parts

I have been a bit concerned about comments and actions that have come my way in the last few weeks. For instance:

While checking out at Walmart, the cashier asked me if I wanted to use my WIC coupons for the milk.

I have gained a few pounds and begrudgingly went shopping for larger shirts. When I tried one on that was much too big, Abby said, "Just keep it. When you get bigger, it will fit."

At yet another store, I found a flattering shirt that I was excited about. The young cashier only justified my good taste when she said, "This is new! Well, now I'm going to have to go shopping to get one of these!" And then added, "My Mom will love it!"

But I suppose the most insulting/interesting one is:

While I was checking out (again at Walmart), I was putting the items on the counter and managing Hannah at the same time. There was nothing hectic about it. I thought it was going pretty well, until the 75-year-old lady behind me got off her motorized cart and began helping me put my groceries on the belt. This sweet senior citizen with impared walking abilities thought I needed help.

What about me is prompting these disturbing reactions??

Perhaps it is because I am raising these children:

At the dinner table, Abby prayed and gave thanks. When it was Hannah's turn, the prayer went, "Dear God, please let me eat dog food. Amen."

The Thanksgiving prayer was this:
Abby: "I am thankful for my mom and dad and sister."
Hannah: "Thanks that my pj's have feet."

I was eating lunch with Abby at school. One of her classmates picked up the OJ that her mom had packed. She put it away without opening it. She looked at me and explained, "I don't like anything natural. And this says ALL natural, so I know it's bad."

I overheard Hannah talking to Mike. She stopped for a moment and said, "I'm going to go toot over there so that I don't bother you." She walked in the other room. Abby began looking for her and called, "Hannah?" From the other room, she cried, "Just a minute!!"

Noticing a booger on Hannah's finger, I swiped in with a tissue and took it. "HEY!" she shouted. "I was going to eat that!"

Mike asked Abby if a neighbor boy went to her school. I answered for her, "No, he goes to private school." Abby got a confused look on her face. "Private school? Is that a school where you have to show your private parts?"