Merry Christmas!

In the interest of saving time and money (and the fact that I didn't plan ahead and don't have time to get Christmas cards out), we thank you kindly to receive this as your Christmas card.

But first, you have to understand the steps leading up to the Christmas picture.

1. Finding coordinating outfits:
This is a whole story in itself, but Mike said it wasn't funny enough to be here. I suppose he's the editor.

2. Getting the girls to the portrait studio without messing themselves up:
If I get myself ready first, the girls mess me up while I get them ready. If I get them ready first, they mess themselves up while I get ready. I tried for the latter. It worked pretty well except for the constant scolding, "Don't mess with your - hair, pants, shirt. Don't - eat, drink, spit, pick." You get the idea.

3. Waiting in line at the picture place:
We got there right on time and there was one family ahead of us. Since there was only one camera, (that's right, I went for a cheap place,) we knew we'd be waiting awhile. Luckily, that family's baby started bawling, and they had to cancel their appointment. While we felt SO sorry for them (heh, heh), we made it in much quicker.

4. The "natural" poses they made us hold:
We walked in and saw a miniature chaise. The photographer asked Mike to lay on it. He looked like a giant on this little couch. Apparently it was "completely normal." I was to sit at his feet at an angle that instantly gave me a cramp in my hip, while the children flanked us. After several pictures in this exact same pose, I felt ridiculous, and asked for a close up. She took two close-up shots, and that was the extent of the family pictures.

5. Picking the perfect picture:
The "natural" pose was amazing. But in a bad way. I don't know how this pose so perfectly captured Mike being so uncomfortable on that mini-couch, but it did. But the really magical part of it was the way I was posed at such an interesting angle, that every fat cell was squished to the front. They built little colonies and towers while waving at the camera. I was horrified. "No one will ever see this picture," I vowed. The close-up that I requested was the only family pose I liked.

6. The bill:
I walked out of there paying $10.99. It really helps cut costs when you hate all the pictures!

But seriously:

We wish you and your families a very merry Christmas. We absolutely believe that Jesus is the reason to celebrate. The miracle of His birth is an amazing gift. We thank you all for caring enough about our family to read all these stories, and to send back some of your own.

In Christ,

Mike, Amy, Abby, and Hannah Johnson