August

School has begun! Hannah has started kindergarten, Abby is in third grade. Mike is still teaching second grade, and I am still teaching part-time at a local college. I decided that I also wanted to go back to school, so I have begun my PhD in child development. At the moment, I am completely overwhelmed and am wondering what in the world I was thinking when I signed up for this.

Luckily, my parents took the children out to dinner. I am sure this was so I could get my homework done, but I think blogging's more fun. Plus, I have been getting the old your-blog-isn't-updated complaints again. Enjoy the posts, and don't tell my parents.


Happy 8th birthday, Abby, my love!


I put the girls in the tub, and walked away while the water was running. When I returned a few minutes later, I told them that I had cleaned the tub that morning, and I didn’t want them to drink the water in case there were chemicals in it. They responded:

Abby – Okay, Mommy!

Hannah – (Pause) You mean, don’t drink it again?

While eating at McDonald’s, Hannah was deep in thought. Finally, she asked, “Mommy, how do they know if you’re a boy or a girl?” A small panic hit me as I thought about how much I wanted to delve into. I said, “Remember, our private parts are different.” She looked confused and pointed to her happy meal toy, which was meant for a girl. “No!” she said. “How do they (pointing to the people behind the registers) know if you’re a boy or a girl (pointing to her girl toy).”

The girls were thrilled to be in the Wizard of Oz play this summer. Abby was Glenda the good witch. Hannah was a munchkin, but she kept calling herself a chipmunk.

While waiting in line at the store, Abby asked Mike to have a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest. “Ready, go!” They both took a big breath and held it. I’m sure Abby was breathing through her nose, because the contest lasted for at least two minutes. She finally blew her breath out, and said, “Dad! Are you still holding your breath?” Mike looked confused for a moment and admitted, “Oh! I forgot we were playing!”

Mike woke up with a blocked saliva gland. His face was swollen, so he went to the doctor. Apparently, the doctor told him that he needed to eat things that would activate his saliva glands. She encouraged him to eat one thing in particular. He came home with a smile on his face. “The doctor told me to eat more candy!” He held up a box of Lemonheads, which is just what the doctor ordered. Anytime the girls tried to sneak a piece, he’d cry, “Stop eating Daddy’s medicine!”

I was trying to shop for a new bra with the children. (Don’t try this.) Abby was mesmerized by the entire department, especially the bras that have pre-formed cups. “Mama, it’s like they’re all in 3-D!”

The girls were eating alone while I was working. I later noticed that Hannah had sauce on her cheek. After wiping it off, I saw sauce on her shoulder and back. “Hannah! How did you get sauce all over yourself?”

“Abby slapped me with a pizza!”

The girls needed back-to-school shoes, so I took them to a reputable shoe store. I asked the sales associate to size their feet. Figuring Abby was about a 12, I was shocked to hear him say that she is actually a 3! (Kids shoes go up to 13 and then start over at 1.) I was a bit skeptic that her feet had grown four sizes without me noticing. Then he measured Hannah’s feet.

Worker –“She’s a five.”

Me – “But she’s been in size 10 shoes.”

Worker – “Let me check something.” He speaks softly into his headset, obviously asking for help, then turns back to me. “Okay, yes. She will stay a ten until she gets into grade school, then she becomes an 11.”

Well, if that’s the way it works. . . .

Abby said that she wants to earn money by having a lemonade stand in the front yard. I explained that since there is very little traffic on our street, it might not make much money. “Sure it will!” she said. “I’ll put it out right before Lifegroup comes over on Thursday!”

Abby had a “spa” birthday party. We invited her friends over, and with the help of my family and friends, we treated the children to a luxury spa day. They loofahed their feet in the tub, got cleansing masks on their faces, had nails painted, hair styled, and makeup done. It was a very fun day.

After the cake kicked in (with their cousin):

I went to get the girls ears pierced today (Abby's b-day). Who was I kidding? Hannah volunteered to go first to show Abby how it's done. But as soon as the first earring was put in, Hannah started crying, which sent Abby into hysterics. Abby was huddled in a corner crying and screaming. Abby absolutely refused (Happy birthday indeed), and we left with one child pierced. Hannah is furious with Abby because Hannah only did it so that Abby would gain courage to do it. Hannah now says she hates the earrings and is threatening to take them out.

The pictures are in order here:

Hannah was so excited to start kindergarten! Since Abby’s first day of kinder was so memorable (remember the bus?), I was worried that Hannah wouldn’t be able to top it. So, she didn’t go. Hannah had the stomach bug on her very first day of school.

When she finally got to go to the second day of school, I discovered that Mike had taken the camera to work! I emailed him, “You took away my camera on my baby’s first day of kindergarten!” I stopped a friend in the hall and begged a picture off her phone.

July

We were able to get back to San Diego this summer. After looking up plane ticket prices, we decided to drive our little car half way across the country. I had good intentions of keeping a quick journal each night. We all know that didn’t happen, so here is what I remember of the trip.

Day 1

We explained to the girls that it would take three full days of driving to get to San Diego. 20 minutes into the trip, we heard the first, “Are we there yet?” The question came again five minutes later.

After driving for seven hours, we were ten minutes away from our destination. The speed limit kept changing, and I thought I was on top of it. Alas, I missed the sign that dropped the speed limit from 75 to 65. As I was pulled over, the girls were very nervous. They asked, “What would happen if you just drove away really fast right now?” I said the police would catch me and probably put me in jail. This sent them over the edge. “Don’t drive away, Mommy! We don’t want you to go to jail!”

Now when people ask about the hardest part of the trip, the girls say, “When Mommy was stopped by the policeman!” They also search for speed limit signs and make sure I am aware of the legal limit at all time.

We stayed at a motel in New Mexico. The girls thought it was amazing.

Day 2

Before heading out, we visited the caves at Carlsbad Caverns. They were beautiful. We took an elevator 750 feet down. The temperature inside the caves is a constant 56 degrees, which felt wonderful in the middle of the summer. We wanted to photograph everything, but the pictures could not capture it all.

This was the best picture I could get of the girls outside the caverns:

After the cave tours, we set out driving again. We went through a whole lot of nothing. The girls discovered the joy of peeing on the side of the road. At one rest stop, the bathrooms were all locked. I finally took the girls to a cluster of trees and supervised the squatting. Abby went first. Hannah cheered her on with, “Come on, Abby! Show us what you got!” We hadn’t quite finished when the sprinklers came on.

We stayed the night in Arizona.

Day 3

Today, we drove to Los Angeles. We had reserved a hotel room near Disneyland. After we checked in, we carried our luggage to the elevator. When the doors opened, there was a middle-aged woman, wearing a bathing suit, squatting in the elevator. As soon as she saw us waiting, she jumped up and took off running. We were confused until we entered the elevator and saw a puddle of pee where she had been hovering. California, here we come!

We made it to the room after warning the girls not to stand on that side of the elevator, put on our suits, and headed down to the pool. The girls jumped in the water and were shocked to find that it was cold! I had even forgotten that CA pools are cold, because it’s cool at night. Here in Texas, it’s pretty much 110 degrees 24/7, so pools are pretty warm! The girls forced me to jump in once, but I wimped out and spent the next hour in the hot tub.

Day 4

Disneyland! We rented two strollers and started our adventure. The lines were long, and the sun intense, but it was Disneyland! We began with Pirates of the Caribbean, where Hannah learned to raise her arms during the scary parts. She wasn’t sure about the Haunted House, but asked to go on Thunder Mountain, which is an intense train roller coaster. The line was long, and the sun began to drain us. We finally made it to the front of the line after 40 minutes. As soon as we reached the front, the worker moved the chain, blocking us from going any further. Along came 100 people who had visited hours ago and received a Fast Pass. They were all ushered ahead of us. Slowly, as Hannah realized what was happening, her face fell until she was almost in tears. Eventually, we were allowed on the ride. Mike sat next to Hannah, and later said that it was his favorite part of the day. Hannah loved it when others were raising their hands and screaming, so she started doing it, too.

Already beaten down by the sun, my body couldn’t handle the roller coaster. I became motion sick and started crying afterwards. We went back to the hotel where I could cool down and nap. When we returned to Disneyland for the evening, we all had a lot more fun.

At two o’clock, our two strollers were stolen. The park, foreseeing this problem, gives free replacement strollers with a receipt. Stroller three was taken at 5:00, and stroller four was gone by nine.

The girls loved the day!

Day 5

After sleeping in and taking another dip in the pool, we headed down to San Diego. We met my uncle and aunt at Lake Jennings campground. They loaned us their amazing camper. The girls were in awe. Actually, Mike and I were a little awed, also. We unpacked and wound down.

Day 6

Uncle Doug took Mike shooting today, which gave the girls and me a chance to be with Aunt Linda, and our cousins. They took us to Seaport Village, which is near the ocean. It was a beautiful day, but the girls and I were cold! The girls loved watching all the seagulls and kept trying to sneak food to the birds.

We had dinner with good friends. I showed up at their house with two bags of laundry. Our girls played with their three boys, who are slightly older than Abby and Hannah. We later found out that Hannah kissed one of the boys. Brother.

Day 7

We went to the beach with my best friend and her children. We were so excited to be together again and catch up. However, watching six children at the beach does not lend itself to idle chit-chat. We didn’t get much social time in, but the kids loved being there. Mike was teaching the girls to boogie board. Abby loved it, but Hannah didn’t like the waves knocking her over.

Day 8

The girls were excited to spend the morning with Uncle Steve (Mike’s brother) and their cousin Caleb. They picked out matching skirts and shirts to go fishing in. I bathed them in sunscreen, and turned them over to Mike so that I could get ready before Steve and Caleb came. The girls ran outside the camper to put spray sunscreen on their scalps. I didn’t think anything of it until Mike began laughing. “They’re all dirty!” he said. I looked out onto our campsite. Every inch of both girls was covered in dirt, all sticking firmly to the sunscreen on their skin. They had also gone wild with the spray sunscreen, and it looked as though they had teased their hair 80’s style before drenching it with Aqua Net. I was horrified and told Mike as much. He said, “Why did you get them all dressed up to go fishing?” “They wanted to look cute!” I replied.

Day 9

On Sunday, we visited the church that I grew up in. Mike and I met and married there, and it will always be a part of us. We saw old friends and commented on how big each other’s children were getting. Abby came down from Children’s Church with fistfuls of candy. “I like this church better than our church! They give more candy here!”

Day 10

We went to the beach again, and Abby got really good with the boogie board. Hannah preferred to build sand castles.

Day 11

Before leaving San Diego, we said our goodbyes to my relatives. Aunt Joyce, who never had children of her own, gave my girls a teddy bear that sings the Macarena. I thanked her profusely for the toy that would make noise during our three full days of driving. She told me she was pretty sure the batteries were almost dead. Hey, Macarena!

We stayed in Arizona that night, and as a surprise to the girls, we got a room with a hot tub in it. After they swam in the outdoor pool, they swam in the in-room pool with their bath toys.

Day 12

Before heading out, we stopped at the gas station and loaded up on snacks. We smiled as we piled them on the check-out counter. “Road trip?” the clerk asked. I replied, “Whatever keeps the kids quiet!”

We were stopped at a checkpoint that was searching for illegal aliens. The girls asked why we had stopped. We explained that some people try to sneak in from Mexico. We explained the difference between people that are allowed to be here and people that aren’t. Apparently, we didn’t explain it well enough, because Abby began worrying about one of her friends who was adopted from China. Hannah had another worry, “What kind of Mexican food are you not allowed to bring across?”

“Mom! I have to go to the bathroom!”

“Okay, wait a few minutes, and I’ll pull over.”

(Less than two minutes later.)

“Mom! I have poop in my undies!”

Day 13

We finally arrived in Texas, but we still had a full day to go. Abby began playing with the Macarena bear, and Hannah yelled, “I’m SICK of that bear!”

To keep the girls busy, I gave them each a lollipop. When we got to the next rest stop, Hannah’s eye was glued shut. Apparently, she had lollipop gunk in it. Mike got her a wet paper towel and a woman asked if she was okay. I explained that somehow, lollipop juice got in her eye.

Abby: “That’s because she stuck her lollipop in her eye!”

Me: “You did??”

Hannah: “Abby TOLD me to!”